If you’ve ever left a toxic or narcissistic relationship only to have the other person suddenly reach out, act loving, or apologize, you’ve probably experienced “hoovering.” The term comes from the Hoover vacuum cleaner—because the person is trying to “suck you back in.”

Hoovering isn’t about genuine love or reconnection. It’s a manipulation tactic used by narcissists or emotionally abusive partners to regain control once they sense you’re leaving or have moved on.

This behavior can happen days, months, or even years after the breakup. It often starts when the narcissist feels lonely or threatened, or isn’t getting any “narcissistic supply” or attention from their usual sources.

Narcissists seek control and power over you. When you go no-contact or start to rebuild a life separate from them, it challenges the narcissist’s fragile

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