Why You Adapt to Things You Never Intended to Accept |
Small compromises rarely feel like betrayals. They feel practical.
Adaptation protects us and can also control us.
Integrity doesn’t disappear in one dramatic collapse; it fades with softened boundaries and edited truths.
The space between stimulus and response determines authorship.
Several weeks ago, during the latest escalation involving Iran, I found myself on a Zoom call discussing an upcoming speaking engagement. The conversation involved the perfectly ordinary discussions of calendars, travel logistics, and deadlines. At one point, I glanced at my phone and saw a message from a friend in Tehran who had recently been released from detention by the morality police. He began by expressing the hope that the message itself would get through, given the internet blackout and power outages. He wasn't lamenting the war so much as the lack of anything that mattered to our people, even the list of negotiation demands by either side. A few seconds later, I was back to discussing schedules. "What time did you say that Monday morning?" "Oh yes, that can work."
The contrast felt surreal. How can a conference schedule occupy any space amidst the grim realities of my home country, where I'd lived as a child and where tons of family and friends still live? It's remarkable how we can inhabit two worlds at once. One part of us continues answering emails, making dinner, and attending meetings. Another part understands that events of enormous consequence are unfolding in the background.
As days passed, I noticed a different question emerging. It wasn't whether I cared. Unquestionably, I did. A great deal, in fact. It was whether I was actively choosing where my attention, energy, and life would go, or whether circumstance was quietly choosing for me. Recent events in Iran reminded many people that history can change suddenly. Yet lives are shaped by the thousands of ordinary decisions made while we're busy adapting to whatever is happening around us.
Exploring Adaptation and Agency in Modern Life
The question itself stayed with me long after the news cycle moved on. In fact, it eventually became the........