Most couples who live together have a division of labor for household chores. One person might do most of the cooking, for example, while the other does the dishes.
Within this arrangement, it's common for one partner to do a task that the other person usually does, which is often thought of as "doing a favor for my partner." For example, "I did the laundry for you" or "I unloaded your dishes."
These favors tend to be well-intentioned, but I have found both in my therapy practice and as a husband that they often can backfire in subtle or obvious ways. Here are six reasons why doing chores for your partner may not be the best approach.
1. It assumes they're your partner's responsibility. When you say you're doing a task "for your partner," it makes it sound as if you're doing their dishes or taking out their trash. While a division of labor between partners is typical, realistically there can be flexibility in who does what.
If you have the time and energy for the task, it makes just as much sense to say it's yours........