Your assumptions play an outsized role in determining the health and longevity of your romantic relationship. Helpful beliefs foster realistic expectations; unhelpful beliefs set you up for disappointment and dissatisfaction.
The beliefs you bring to relationships will affect both how you feel about your partner and how you act; those feelings and actions, in turn, will affect your thoughts (see the Feelings/Thoughts/Behaviors triangle figure).
To take a simple example, someone who assumes they should listen to their partner's needs will tend to feel open to hearing about their struggles and likely will do things to try to make their life easier.
On the other hand, if a person assumes their partner should keep their needs to themselves, then they'll surely feel and act differently when their partner is having a tough time.
Assumptions that harm relationships are often subtle and might even seem like healthy beliefs. Who doesn't want to make their partner happy, for example, or feel in love? But closer inspection reveals that certain assumptions aren't doing you any favors.
Here are five common mindsets that can harm relationships, as well as five more-helpful alternatives.
The things you do affect how your partner feels, just as their actions affect your feelings. It's easy to assume, then, that your partner's happiness is in your hands. When they're unhappy, you might think it's up to you to lift their........