The holiday season of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa can be filled with a lot of tasks: planning family gatherings, attending social obligations, confirming travel reservations, and, of course, the expectation of purchasing and receiving gifts. While it is true that a gift can serve as an expression of love, many times it is bought in haste, along with so many other items on the checklist. This can then be felt as less meaningful to the partner who is the receiver, and does very little to provide emotional, romantic, and erotic growth to the relationship.

Research shows that gifts aren’t just a tradition; they’re also powerful tools to help couples reconnect, show love, and strengthen closeness. Here are three frameworks to help spouses and partners buy a more emotionally attuned gift for their partner this holiday season.

In a 2024 study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, Howe, Wiener, and Chartrand found that receiving a small, thoughtful gift was sometimes more effective than a supportive conversation. The participants who received a gift from a loved one reported stronger feelings of being cared for, valued, and emotionally satisfied than those who were simply told kind words. This also aligns with research connected to the Five Love Languages framework. A 2024 study by Impett et al. showed that when people rated each love language separately, more than 50 percent showed that gifts were one of the most meaningful ways they feel loved.

Additionally discussed by Howe, Wiener, and Chartrand was how crucial it was for the gift to be given intentionally and with the receiver in mind for it to hold such significance. The study specifies that this gift does not have to be something large or expensive; it can be as simple as a scented candle. A carefully chosen gift can reinforce one’s partner’s emotional presence and commitment.

When it comes to gift-giving,........

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