Find a therapist to treat psychosis

There could be a time in your recovery when you no longer feel different than others.

The fact that you have a mental illness only seems like your defining factor because of stigma.

Most people are focused on themselves and not trying to figure out if you've been "crazy" before.

It is a wonderful feeling when who you feel like aligns with who you project to others.

My personal relationship with the word "crazy" has been intense. I thought nothing of the term and used it in jest until my psychotic breaks. But after my first break, I did not hear anyone say the word "crazy" in passing without thinking they were really talking about me. Anytime anyone I know said the word "crazy" in jest during and in early recovery from my illness, I would use that information to deduce this person would judge and reject me if they found out that I have been psychotic before. I am careful not to use this word lightly, because of how this word made me feel when I was recovering from psychological and emotional damage from my breaks.

Nowadays, I don’t feel like people are really referring to me when they say that word. Even better though, I’ve lost the sense that I stand out as that person who had psychotic breaks and went to a psych ward multiple times, as if I’m the only person that has ever happened to. It simply feels amazing now when I sit down at a dinner with friends, or coworkers in a conference room, and I don’t feel different than anyone else. I also don’t think I stand out due to some glaring fact or reality about myself that I hope no one else finds out about. Why should the fact that I’ve had psychotic breaks and have a diagnosis be the defining factor of my existence, as if no other feature of my identity matters near as much?

The truth is, I never should have felt like I was set apart........

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