Women in fertility treatment often feel they can’t catch a break; the issues keep stacking up, cycle after cycle, complication after complication, diagnosis after diagnosis. It can feel like jumping through one hoop only to find three more waiting. Living in a state of fight or flight becomes the norm. What makes it even harder is that this pressure builds quietly over time.

One of the most pervasive feelings couples describe is how chronic uncertainty compounds stress. Each cycle begins before the body and mind have reset from the last, creating a rolling accumulation rather than separate, manageable events. It becomes difficult to move forward with hope when your internal system still holds the residue of previous losses.

Hope becomes a verb. It is no longer a simple feeling but an effortful state that requires energy and intention. To hope again means pushing through doubt and re-engaging after being emotionally depleted. This kind of hope drains psychological resources long before treatment begins.

Waiting can also become a traumatic state in itself. Days are spent anticipating results, monitoring symptoms, and bracing for impact. Prolonged vigilance is something the body registers as an ongoing threat. Each unsuccessful cycle carries micro-losses that accumulate quietly until the emotional weight becomes undeniable.

The future can feel suspended until the next result arrives, creating a sense that your life is on hold and your worth depends on what happens in the next cycle. This can become the norm........

© Psychology Today