Emily has just moved into a new apartment and invited her mother to help her set it up. Not only does her mother come, but she arrives with almost a moving van's worth of stuff—curtains and pieces of furniture, and with them, too many “great” ideas. Emily feels overwhelmed and suffocated.
Henry has learned to just “get through” those holiday dinners. It feels like a command performance, and the conversation is superficial and phony. He survives by smiling, saying everything is going well, and drinking heavily.
Tolu has always had a difficult relationship with her father. He’s critical, always giving advice, seems frustrated or disappointed with her, and never acknowledges her accomplishments.
While some adult children continue to have close and supportive relationships with their parents, for many others, adult child-parent relationships can be challenging, and paradoxically even more so when the "child" is independent and out of the house. How do folks like Emily, Henry, and Tolu react to their parents? Here are the most common ways:
Emily’s mom’s taking over makes her irritable; she gets snappy about the pictures and the curtains, but then she feels bad, apologizes, and backs off.
This is Henry—the holiday dinner is only a few hours; he can get through it, bite his tongue, find a reason to go home early, and brace himself for the next........