In September of last year, musicians and content creators Lilianna Wilde and Sean Kolar posted a video on TikTok of unique words and phrases they developed from five years of marriage, including “chick rotiss” for rotisserie chicken and “app-a-ball spitz-ee” for Aperol spritz. They then hashtagged it #marriagelanguage. There followed millions of views and a growing number of other people contributing their own specific examples of marriage language.

Marriage language begins early in a committed relationship, with many people giving their partner affectionate nicknames, accompanied by romantic baby talk with each other. Marriage language then develops from these pet names and romantic baby talk into a larger, personalized lexicon consisting of shorthand words and phrases that refer to inside jokes, shared experiences, secret nicknames for others, and intimate activities.

Although it’s a small subset of our overall vocabulary, marriage language is pervasive, exclusive, and consequential, serving valuable functions for a long-term relationship.

Researchers Carol Bruess and Judy Pearson found a significant correlation between the use of couple-specific idioms and relationship satisfaction. Moreover, these idioms are developed in the early stages of long-term relationships and used more often in these early stages than later on, supporting the idea that marriage language facilitates connection when it’s most needed, as people are building their relationships. In general, this shared private........

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