Recap

In my previous post I described early erotic memories that were the result of boys having lustful attractions and penile stimulation. As boys, nearly all young men I interviewed recalled these as positive memories but were uncertain if they should tell others about them or keep it to themselves. If the boys disclosed these recollections it was usually to friends and not parents, teachers, or clinicians.

"Sharing" one’s genitals with a girl was not a common source of a first sexual memory for the young men, but it did occur. Several encounters happened during preschool or kindergarten naptime, which turned out to be an ideal time for the children to explore each other’s genitals. For example, during quiet time and under the covers, one young boy was receptive to “girls visiting me, kissing me, and feeling me up.” His explorations were simply a matter of “only having fun. No one saw us and nothing was wrong with it.” His sleeping rug became the most popular mat in class.

These genital contacts could be an unexpected and unplanned opportunities or an activity clearly anticipated, intended, and pursued. Nearly all were initiated by same-age girls, leaving the boys thrilled and wanting more of these activities. Because most genital contacts occurred prior to pubescence, the boys did not ejaculate but reported experiencing (dry) orgasms.

Scott

Scott described himself as lower middle class, outdoorsy, masculine, and a trouble maker. “I was not afraid of going against the norm or looking weird. Didn’t tether myself to any one group.” He assessed himself as “not........

© Psychology Today