Circumstances, Considerations and Choices |
In his book Control Theory, Glasser (1984) argues that an individual’s intrinsic motivation and personal attitude have the greatest influence on what the individual will do, say, and achieve. In addition, Glasser declares that individuals are accountable for their own attitudes, actions, and behavior. Ultimately, according to Glasser, “all living creatures, from simple to complex, control themselves.”
In relation to words, Eleanor Roosevelt presented the following proposition: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Long before this statement was presented, children on playgrounds were known (especially during times of “differences of opinion”) to announce the following saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” (Gross, 1998; Smith & Ellsworth, 1985; Teicher et al., 2010).
When this social maxim was known and regularly applied, parents and teachers also used it to help children develop and enhance their self-belief, self-esteem, strength of character, agency, determination, resilience and their internal locus of control.
The universal insights presented in this maxim, together with the insights of Glasser and the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, affirm two social universal truths: (1) We only have control over our own thoughts and actions and (2), we cannot control the thoughts and actions of others (Bandura, 2006; Glasser, 1984; Masten, 2001; Purje, 2014; Skinner, 1996; Yeager & Dweck, 2012).
Research indicates that these social universal truths appear across philosophy, psychology, sociology, neuroscience, and phenomenological lived experience. They are both intrinsic and extrinsic social features of ongoing individual and social interactions; as noted, one of which we control, and one of which we do not control (Kowalski et al., 2014; Markus & Kitayama, 1991; Moran, 2022; Shin et al., 2019; Wang & Yin, 2023).
In terms of control, Skinner (1996) writes that “[c]ontrol is important to psychological functioning. Decades of research in sociology and psychology have demonstrated that a sense of control is a robust predictor of physical and mental well-being.”
This is further supported by the research of Teicher and colleagues (2010), which demonstrates that words can exert measurable psychological and neurological effects. However, even though this is noted and recognized, Teicher and colleagues also point out that this occurrence does not automatically mean that an individual will become a “victim” of those words.
According to Teicher and colleagues, the important distinction here is........