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Ambiguous rejection—an indirect "no" that may be interpreted as encouragement—can be hurtful.

Typical responses to ambiguous rejection are to ruminate over what happened, and to try harder.

Explicit rejection—a direct "no"—can be a gift that allows the recipient to accept it and move on.

He’s Just Not That Into You, the bestselling self-help book of 2004, explained to straight women on the dating scene that they should not pursue men who lied, cheated, or avoided them. These men were not purposely sending mixed signals. They were simply not interested.

It sounds obvious. If someone treats you poorly, they probably don’t value the relationship.

But the women who needed this book were navigating complicated relationship dynamics, like dating partners who........

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