A woman complains about hostile treatment at work. In response, she is told that the problem lies with her—that she has a chip on her shoulder and gets offended too easily.

She worries that this is true—that her complaints are not real, but only reflect her own shortcomings. “I just turn it inwards: Is it me, is it my fault? I lie awake at night thinking, is it actually a problem with me here?”

This quote, from feminist scholar Sara Ahmed’s 2021 book Complaint!, illustrates the concept of “internalized invalidation” or, less formally, “self-

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