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It’s hard being upset, but it’s part of life.

Being in a relationship with a person who also gets upset can set up difficult situations.

In a stereotypical dynamic, men may express upsetness by withdrawing while women process out loud.

We’re human beings, and sometimes we get upset. We show this in different ways. We might withdraw, engage, have a drink, have some ice cream, have some exercise, watch reality TV, get emotional, and/or get unemotional. Life has its challenges, and things don’t always work out for us the way we want them to, and we react to failure and disappointment with anxiety and fear. We get upset. It’s hard being upset, but it’s part of life.

It’s also hard being a partner to someone who is upset. It’s hard enough to deal with our own upsetness, and the added responsibility of being in a relationship with another person who also gets upset can set up difficult situations. How we deal with our own upsetness can have a great effect on the quality of our relationships, but it is also how we deal with our partner’s upsetness that factors into the equation. It is this experience of being upset and dealing with upsetness that is often a topic in couples therapy.

Common Gender Dynamics in Expressing Upsetness

This dynamic often plays out in a stereotypically male/female way. In this dynamic, the Men express their upsetness by withdrawing and internalizing, while the Women express their upsetness by vocalizing and........

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