The Art of Grieving Well |
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Deflecting or deferring grief may make it even stronger.
Appropriate grief fully acknowledges a loss while at the same time keeps us from getting lost in it.
It is possible to befriend grief and transform suffering into something deeply meaningful.
None of us is immune from grief; grief is a part of the human experience. We grieve when we lose something we love or believe we should get to keep always—a person, a beloved animal, an experience, an important possession, or even our own self. All of us will suffer what the Stoics called attacks by Fate.
The greater the loss, the greater the grief. But we can get lost in grief. It may overwhelm us like a rogue wave. It may pull us away from what we know and love like a riptide. Grief can take so much from us when we do not grieve well.
For people in recovery from addiction—especially early in recovery—the grief from a loss may feel overwhelming. It may feel so uncomfortable, disorienting, and painful that the first impulse is to dull it or even better, escape from it. Alcohol and other addictive substances and behaviors are ready at hand and provide a promise of a reprieve from all the pain. Some will pick up again seeking that relief, which may prove both elusive and illusory.
Others will pick up again to amplify all their painful emotions and make them even more powerful. They may not just care about anything given the magnitude of their........