Building Bridges, Not Walls: Psychology and Neighbor Love |
Do you wish to grow in your ability to love your neighbors? Are you intrigued by how psychological concepts and religious principles might come together to offer perspectives on the facilitators and barriers to loving our neighbors across cultural differences? Drawing from psychology and religion, my colleagues Katie Douglass and Brittany Tausen recently wrote a book that is full of insights and practical applications for how we might deepen our interpersonal connections and treat others with more kindness. In an interview with me, Katie (a practical theologian) and Brittany (a social psychologist) responded to a few questions about their work:
Paul Youngbin Kim: For the average religious person, loving our neighbors is not a controversial idea. But why does religion sometimes inflict more harm than good on this front? How might we counter this tendency?
Brittany Tausen: Religion can be leveraged as a motivator to love all well, or as a way to draw boundaries around who to love and who not to love. It is when religion is used to build walls and craft an overly narrow definition of ‘neighbor’ that it tends to inflict the most harm. When religion is used to underscore the dignity and worth of all human beings, that is when there is the greatest potential for religious traditions to fuel the prosocial behavior necessary for individual and communal flourishing.
The tendency for religious identities to intensify in-group and out-group dynamics is no simple problem. Still, psychological research points to promising paths forward. Communities can foreground religious teachings that affirm ‘compassionate love for all humanity,' which is to say the value and dignity of all people. Alongside these teachings, it is helpful to regularly ask, Who is missing from our definition of neighbor? or Who is absent from our gatherings? Such honest questions help reveal who may not feel seen as a “neighbor to be loved.” These reflections can open the door to more meaningful intergroup contact where individuals engage with one another and work towards common goals across difference. Karl Barth’s theological anthropology deepens this vision, emphasizing mutuality: In every encounter, both people are to be seen, heard, served, and even invited into shared delight. These approaches lend themselves to building bridges rather than walls in a way that helps to disrupt cycles of dehumanization and polarization that fuel hatred and harm across groups.
PYK: When thinking about loving neighbors across cultural differences, how might religion offer additional insights, beyond or in combination with what psychology has to say about it?
Katie Douglass: Copious psychological studies demonstrate the human tendency toward ingroup/outgroup dynamics and my reading of these studies is that this human tendency is judged to be mostly negative as it leads to stereotyping and dehumanization.
There are numerous texts in the Christian Scriptures that have been interpreted over time to demonstrate how diversity (being with people from the outgroup) is a part of God’s good plan for the world. I commend the work of Bo Lim, Brian Bantum, and Eric Barretto for those who would like to read specifically about the topics of multiculturalism and cultural diversity in Scripture. I would point readers to Ephesians 2:14. Living in Christ means rejecting the human-made “walls that divide” (the ingroups and outgroups), and instead appreciating the diversity present when we live together. Paul, the author of Ephesians writes, “You are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens.” In other words, the human tendency is to use human-made categories like “foreigner” or “stranger” to distance ourselves from others, but those who are followers of Jesus must reject these categories that are meant to divide, and instead see one another as brothers and sisters, fellow citizens, part of the same building or temple in which God dwells (Ephesians 2:22).
PYK: What is one thing that people can do today to better love their neighbor, especially across cultural differences?
BT: Build the habit of countering your own confirmation bias. We all have a tendency to remember and seek out what we already believe, but very few of us take the time or exert the energy to understand alternative perspectives. Our book uses a playful example of looking up reasons why some people might not like 80’s music (because I’m a big fan), but this simple step can help to build bridges and demystify far more important things – like why people vote, pray, or parent differently than you. This intentional effort can help counter the tendency to assume that other approaches are wrong or irrational, or even immoral in ways that fuel division, dehumanization, and harm.
KD: Begin to wonder about how society naturally sets us up to befriend some people (ingroup) and not others (outgroup). In my experience, we are taught in subtle ways who we should be friends with – white families with white families, multiethnic families with multiethnic families, immigrant families with immigrant families, middle-class families with middle-class families. My challenge would be to ask one person who is from a different group than you are in to go for a walk or out to coffee and just get to know them. Ask about their favorite local cafe, their favorite movie, or what they are concerned about in your community. And take delight in your small rebellion against the societal pressures that divide us from one another by making a new friend.
Katherine M. Douglass is an Associate Professor of Educational Ministry and Practical Theology at Seattle Pacific University. Brittany M. Tausen is an Assistant Professor of Social Psychology at Baylor University.