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Readers receive a clear depiction of freedom as an inner journey.

information was gathered through clinical work with hundreds of clients.

Readers gain an understanding of the psychological wilderness that helps to take us hostage.

Readers gain an understanding of four captors: addiction, false modesty, arrogance and regression.

It can be challenging to understand how far or close we live to freedom. Brian McLaren uses the metaphor of the Israelites’ exodus from Egyptian enslavement in order to bring our attention to our own enslavement. “The truth is we are all on a wilderness journey out of some form of slavery.” The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years in search of freedom. The wilderness is an appropriate metaphor for lack of familiar terrain and loss of a reliable direction. Our wilderness is made up of seduction, denial, delusion, and rationalization.

Seduction often draws us away from ourselves toward something that appears comforting and/or arousing. However, the promise is often a shimmer of reality, as Odysseus discovered and was willing to ignore. Having sex with a Siren would result in his being turned into a pig. The example is an appropriate metaphor for the direction seduction can take, bringing us to our pig nature. Denial simply cancels what is real, while delusion creates a counterfeit version of reality. “I’m not simply avoiding working. I’m writing a next best seller and alcohol clears my mind” may be an example of deluded thinking. “I didn’t go to work today because my car needs to be serviced, and no one is really interested in the report I created,” reflects rationalizing.

The journey can easily stall when elements of the wilderness are animated. We can experience Stockholm syndrome, a psychological bond with our captors. I experienced such a syndrome with alcohol for 17 years. With the help of denial, delusion, and rationalization, I ascribed peace, joy, and confidence to my captor. The freedom I felt was an illusion, fixated on grandiose aspirations, with nothing real ever taking place.

The Captor of Addiction

Alcohol, street drugs, prescription meds, food, sex and love, gambling, compulsive spending, and the most insidious, work. Addiction either numbs us or creates episodes of euphoria or both. Emotions no longer provide reliable guidance for our decisions. Making choices that truly serve us is seriously compromised. Our freedom is in peril.

From Addiction to Freedom

With the roar of the wilderness marked by denial, delusion, and rationalization, this captor does not let go easily. Similar to the Egyptians suffering the plagues sent by the God of the Israelites, pain can be the way out of addiction back to freedom. It can be our suffering or that of a loved one who has us getting honest about our addictive bondage.

The Captor of False Modesty

Our enslavement happens as we diminish and misrepresent our strengths and abilities to ourselves and to others. Making choices reflective of our real attributes can be seriously compromised. We no longer have the choice to be creative, productive, and manifest in accord with our actual capability. This captor’s seduction happens as we believe that the only effective way to gain approval and acceptance is to communicate that we are not big enough or strong enough to be a problem for other people.

From False Modesty to Freedom

Emancipation means taking the responsibility to approve of ourselves. It also means getting honest about your gifts and strengths. Lastly, be willing to develop your abilities and allow them to serve others. Stay close to “It’s safe to be my right size.”

The Captor of Arrogance

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This enslaver is typically a compensation for feeling less than. It’s driven by a grandiose assessment of who we are, striving to be special. Choices to truly be ourselves fade away as we eagerly move toward some exalted position. We’re not able to make choices to support our ordinary needs and limits. We live in a delusion that commonly distances others, compromising the choice to create meaningful relationships.

From Arrogance to Freedom

It may mean getting the help you need in order to dismantle the scaffolding supporting your upward advance. It will likely call for psychological education in order to understand that your lofty aspiration is compensatory. From there, you can begin to accept how lovable you are as an ordinary human being.

The Captor of Psychological Regression

This captor pulls the rug out from beneath your adult self. You begin to think, act, and feel like a child. This typically occurs when someone says or does something that brings up an old hurt or trauma. Current people in the story feel more like the perpetrators of the past. Signals of this captor are extreme thinking – “never, always, no one, and everyone.” You will feel completely alone with no possibility of support. It’s very difficult to identify what you want or need and see your options as limited to one or two. Choices are limited to supporting survival, i.e., fight, flight, or freeze.

Form Regression to Freedom

The key is to notice you are regressed, which can feel embarrassing. Then try to accept regression as natural rather than pathological. It is simply an old part of you looking for what it needed back then and did not receive. Talk with someone whom you trust about being in this regressed place and try to identify what this younger part of you needs. It’s often acceptance and love. Write a letter to this younger person describing how much you love him or her. Make no important decisions while in a regressed state.

Hopefully, it is clear that freedom is lost and reclaimed as an inside job. The wilderness is within, as is our emancipation. Of course, there are exceptions, such as food and housing insecurity or being kidnapped. The more we can see one of the four captors at play, the more likely we can champion our liberation.

© Psychology Today