At a time when technology and our attachment to our devices allow us to live at a blistering pace, the wonder and grace of simplicity may be in jeopardy. The very idea of simplicity is quickly relegated to simple-mindedness, a lack of much-needed sophistication, and an anomaly in the modern world, all of which suggests that simplicity cannot empower us as we face life’s difficulties. However, simplicity may be the single most important ingredient for truly valuing who we are and the dignity of the life we create.

An ancient definition of the word simplicity is “unattached to artificiality.” To understand simplicity, we need to be clear about the nature of artificiality and its opposite. We can begin accepting that what is artificial is fake or an imitation. Hence, when we separate from what is artificial, we have the opportunity to attach to what is genuine, real, and original. An initial reaction might be, “It’s a no-brainer, who would not want to be connected to what is authentic and real?” Well, maybe most of us are ok settling for the artificial, only because expressions of the artificial are so powerfully seductive. So powerful, we may not even believe there are any other options that support our self-worth.

Let’s look more closely at the power of the artificial and its hold on us.

Glamour. Glamour is often an expression of the artificial. Examples include living in a luxurious home, traveling to exotic places, attending exclusive events, driving high-end luxury automobiles, and wearing designer clothing. The message is “I’m not ordinary.”

Being the recipient of adoration, admiration, or respect. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being respected. But they can become artificial substitutes for genuine self-acceptance, especially when we carry the intention of being impressive.

Excessive acquisitions. The acquisition of boats, planes, and trains can be artificial ways of feeling good about ourselves. The illusion is “I acquire a lot, therefore I am a lot.”

Busyness. Busyness often signals an attachment to artificiality. The thinking is, “if I do a lot and produce a lot, then I am a lot.” No, you may be simply rushing about, and not necessarily rushing toward something, but rather away from something. That “something” is likely some emotion we prefer to run from.

Vanity. Vanity can be another form of an artificial attachment. An old definition of the word vanity is “empty.” It denotes a move toward adoring the body rather than a heartfelt self-encounter.

The power of the artificial's seduction lies in how much artificiality can offer a quick boost to self-esteem. The problem is that it is analogous to feeling hungry and eating cotton candy, with neither nutritional value nor life-sustaining properties. The power of artificiality also lies in its ability to offer an immediate distraction from painful emotions and disturbing thoughts.

If we seek genuine expressions of self-love and want to minimize attachment to artificiality, we must commit to a practice that supports this process. Here’s an example of a four-step practice that does not offer immediate gratification; over time, such heavy lifting can engender genuine self-acceptance.

Humility. Humility as a psychological task and not a virtue is step one. Humility is an ongoing honoring of both our limits and our gifts. We continue to situate ourselves somewhere between false modesty (denial of our gifts) and arrogance (denial of our limits).

Self-kindness. Self-kindness is a way of affirming that we deserve to be treated with care and consideration. Ongoing acts of self-kindness give rise to self-trust.

Self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness confirms the appropriateness of our imperfection, allowing us to fumble without turning against ourselves.

Recieving love from a person or people whom we trust. Their love does not replace the love we hold for ourselves. Rather, it simply augments and confirms our lovability.

One possible culprit contributing to the powerfully seductive allure of artificiality is the culture’s infatuation with the pursuit of happiness. When we attach to artificiality and receive its temporary massage of the ego’s longing to feel ok about itself, we tend to also feel happy. It’s what makes any addiction work. The key is to replace the pursuit of happiness with the pursuit of depth and meaning. Depth indicates any undertaking that is emotionally life-sustaining, such as gratitude, compassion, courage, and generosity. Meaning is how we want to live with our sources of depth — the people, places, and events where our life-sustaining practices will take place.

© Psychology Today