Parents give their kids feedback regularly—usually regarding their behavior, but sometimes in response to their children’s questions or to information they volunteer about situations they’re dealing with. Parental feedback can range from low-stakes commentary on something their children have done to directions for avoiding serious consequences in the future.
Some children respond well to their parents’ coaching, while others reject it—retreating, deflecting, or denying it. The groundwork for their receptivity to your guidance is best laid early, and these last weeks of summer, as we approach the start of a new school year, can be a time to reflect on the effectiveness of strategies you have used in the past. Think about how you give your children feedback and how they receive it. Do they tend to shut down, or are they open to your thoughts and perspectives? Their responses and receptivity to your feedback are worth sorting out because you are their first and most constant teacher. No matter their age, you will have a lot more advice to give your children and for their benefit, you want to figure out how to ensure they will receive it.
As your input may be even more critical to their decision-making once the school year begins, what follows should help you with the following goals:
To ensure that your child can hear your messages as you intend them, consider the tone of your delivery. It is easy for children to think you are shaming them when you offer corrective feedback, and no one likes to feel foolish or humiliated about their........