Psychologist John Gottman identified four predictors of divorce, which are present in U.S. political culture.

Character attacks, not policy debates, are now the primary mode of political communication.

Contempt in public discourse trains people to see opponents as "others" who are less worthy and less human.

For most of its history, the United States has resembled a quarrelsome but committed couple. We bicker, disagree, and occasionally give each other the silent treatment, but underneath it all, there has been a shared sense that we are in this together.

Today, though, the tone has shifted. The fights feel meaner, more personal, and less about solving problems than about dominating others. If this were a marriage, therapists would be sounding the alarm.

Psychologist John Gottman identified four communication patterns so damaging to a relationship that he called them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling predict divorce with over 90 percent accuracy (Gottman, 2023). These same patterns now characterize much of our political discourse, doing real damage to our sense of "us" as a country.

Over the past decade, a style of politics that is loud, angry, and relentlessly personal has demonstrated that permanent combat, public humiliation, and grievance can be politically effective. Once that style proved successful, it spread. Parties imitated it, media monetized it, and citizens who saw their fears and resentments reflected in it shared it further. The result is not just polarization of opinion. It creates a hierarchy of human value and turns politics into a relational culture that looks disturbingly like a marriage heading for divorce.

Criticism: From Policy Disagreement to Character Assassination

Gottman's first horseman is criticism. He draws a clear distinction between a complaint and a criticism. A complaint targets behavior; criticism attacks character. "I'm upset you didn't call" is a complaint. "You're selfish and never think of anyone but yourself" is criticism.

In today's politics, we have largely abandoned complaints. Instead of arguing that a policy is harmful or misguided, political voices increasingly leap to global........

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