When you live with persistent anxiety, it affects more than just how you feel on the inside. It can also strongly influence your closest relationships. And just as anxiety takes on different forms in different people, it can also show up in relationships in a variety of ways.

In my book Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, I describe three primary root causes of anxiety, the unique characteristics of each, the underlying need driving each type, and their solutions. They are catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs. Let’s look at the different ways each one may show up in your primary relationships — and what you can do about it.

Catastrophizing is defined by creating stories of catastrophic or worst-case outcomes and then relating to each one as if they are certain or likely to happen. At the root of catastrophizing is discomfort with uncertainty. Catastrophizing is your mind’s attempt to eradicate uncertainty by imagining all potential bad outcomes, as if doing so will somehow protect or prepare you for what is to come. This may show up in your relationships as persistent worries about where the relationship stands, and seeking reassurance that your partner loves you, is faithful, or is committed.

This........

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