In the last post, I promised to expose the cultural narratives that keep you silent, afraid, disempowered, and unknown, and also clarify what’s actually true. I’ll start by saying this: the stories you’ve been told about speaking your truth are utterly untrue.

When you see through the myths, you can rewrite the narratives.

The message in this faulty myth is that authenticity means you don’t care about what anyone else thinks or feels; you’re someone who does things your way, no matter how it affects anyone else. Speaking your truth makes you a self-centered, insensitive, emotional bully. The fear of being perceived as this kind of person then keeps you silent and afraid to speak up for yourself.

But expressing how you feel and what you want has nothing to do with being insensitive to other people or lacking empathy. It doesn’t mean you stop caring about the other person’s experience or how your truth impacts them. In reality, it’s the opposite. When your truth can be heard and known, you feel more present and seen in the relationship, more connected. As a result, you feel more empathy for other people’s experiences. You’re open to adjustments and compromises because your needs are also being considered and included. Expressing yourself is not an aggression against someone else, as it’s been framed through this cultural narrative. It’s actually an act of intimacy and a gift to the other person—and to yourself.

Speaking your truth is a starting place that offers you a seat at the table so you’re not just an invisible peace-keeping need-filler. The idea is not that only your needs matter, but that your needs........

© Psychology Today