Our Feelings Contradict Each Other, and That's OK |
Embrace both-and thinking for self-relationships.
Coexisting emotions don't invalidate each other.
Decisions carry both benefits and sacrifices.
In Part 1 of this series, I suggested a relational paradigm shift that could lead you to greater closeness and intimacy in your relationships and to feeling more heard and understood. Specifically, when your partner and you have different truths, when your experience and your partner’s experience don’t align, that you could adopt a both-and attitude rather than one of either or. An “and” not “but” system of relating. I encouraged you to accept and practice the right and right paradigm, rather than one of right and wrong. And furthermore, to treat other people’s versions of reality, different and contradictory though they may be, as equally valid and real, equally true, regardless of whether you agree with them, or if they make you feel good about yourself.
In this post, rather than speak about both and as it applies to your relationships with other people, I want to address how it plays out in your relationship with yourself.
As human beings, our feelings are complicated, fluid, and usually inconsistent. We feel both positively and negatively, about almost everything and everyone we encounter. You might feel profound love and gratitude........