In Breaking Bad, a new series, I explore some of our most problematic unhealthy habits, how they impact us, and how we can break the persistent negative patterns in our lives. In this post, I examine people-pleasing.
People-pleasing may seem out of place on an inventory of problematic habits, but the reality is that, over time, if we routinely put the needs of others ahead of our own, we can end up doing ourselves a great deal of harm.
One of the reasons people-pleasing is so difficult to see as a harmful habit is that, in the course of our lives, we all do it. We are hard-wired to care about, strive to, and find great joy in pleasing others. We find great satisfaction in performing tasks and taking on responsibilities in our personal and professional lives that please people whose opinions and respect we care about.
As children, we learn to please our parents, teachers, and caregivers. We go on to please our employers, our friends, and our........