Is there someone in your family who won't speak with you? Every day in my office, heartbroken parents, grandparents, and siblings describe their profound sadness over family members who won't communicate with them. This grief feels similar to what they would experience if their family member died, but in some cases, it feels even worse.

Family estrangement has reached epidemic proportions. A 2022 survey found 29 percent of Americans are currently cut off from a parent, child, sibling, or grandparent, and a 2025 survey found 38 percent have experienced estrangement from a close family member at some point. These aren't just statistics. They're the tragic consequences of families ripped apart.

What's causing this destruction? Causes include substance abuse, violence, and personality conflicts, but a newer and increasingly powerful force is social media algorithms designed to increase engagement by promoting divisive content.

Maria Ressa is a Nobel Peace Prize laureate who experienced how Facebook's algorithms tear families apart. As CEO of the news organization Rappler in the Philippines, Ressa described a disturbing pattern during the 2016 Philippine presidential election.

In her book, How to Stand Up to a Dictator, Ressa describes how Facebook's "friends of friends" algorithm, combined with divisive political posts, changed how Filipinos relate to one another. She explains: "If you were pro-Duterte and you were getting recommendations for posts from friends of friends, you moved farther right. If you were anti-Duterte, you moved farther left. And over time, the chasm between the two sides grew." This same pattern occurred in India, Brazil, and the U.S.

The family-destroying polarization Ressa described originates in how social media platforms optimize engagement. Research has shown that content triggering strong emotions, especially anger and moral outrage, spreads faster and generates more engagement than factual, nuanced content.

Facebook's algorithms weren't........

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