Why Demands Make You Miserable |
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It's unreasonable to place absolute demands on a situation, as it leads to emotional disturbance and misery.
The parable of the Chinese farmer shows wisdom in accepting uncertainty.
REBT suggests replacing demands with strong preferences.
The parable of the Chinese farmer is an ancient Taoist essay from the Han Dynasty, with an REBT twist:
A poor Chinese farmer discovers his one horse has run away. His friends comfort him and say what a terrible disaster this was. The farmer doesn't say this absolutely must not have happened. Instead, he says, "Maybe yes, maybe no." The next day, the horse returns with a few wild horses. His friends rejoice at his good fortune. The farmer does not respond by saying it absolutely should have occurred. Rather, he tells his friends, "Maybe yes, maybe no." Then, while riding one of the wild horses, the farmer's son breaks his leg. His friends decry his misfortune. The farmer says, "Maybe yes, maybe no." The next day, a military........