The Paradox of Play |
What if competition wasn’t about defeating others but about elevating each other?
Our physiology shapes competition. When we feel safe and connected, competition shifts from a battle for dominance to an opportunity for growth, play, and co-regulation. Through stories of elite athletes like Madison Keys and Jannik Sinner, we uncover how calm, connection, and trust fuel peak performance—not aggression or fear. Beyond sports, the same principles apply to politics, leadership, and everyday life, challenging us to rethink how we compete. Are we fighting to win or playing to evolve?
Webster's dictionary defines competing as striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others trying to do the same. This definition, reflects the underlying physiology of how most of us compete in this world: We look to defeat the other. We try to establish ourselves as superior. We approach the competitor as an enemy standing in our way of getting what we want. This approach is rooted in threat-oriented, survival-based physiological states.
When we don’t feel safe, resourced, or supported by others, competition turns into a fight against or a battle for something. In contrast, when we feel sufficiently safe, resourced, and respected, competition changes into something entirely different: It becomes an opportunity to stretch ourselves, challenge our limits, and elevate our abilities in ways we couldn’t achieve on our own.
This year's Australian Open winner, Madison Keys, redefined her relationship with competition. "I was supposed to be great, but I'm not," Keys recalled thinking. "It was one of those things where you say it out loud, pause, and........