Ahhh, the beginning stages of a relationship. Your thoughts drift to a special someone, butterflies flutter about your stomach as you set eyes on a new lover. Oh, the marvelous joys of the honeymoon stage! This remarkably blissful stage of courtship is primarily based on sexual attraction. With the onset of waves of emotion, there is a chemical reaction that is taking place. These fluttering feelings flood the brain with a dopamine rush, a neurohormone that is also known as the pleasure hormone. When we are engulfed in this stage, every touch from your partner or thought about them comes with a wave of desire and lust. Like all things, the honeymoon stage must come to an end, and unfortunately, these lustful feelings typically fade between six months and a year into a relationship.
Attraction is a very studied and contemplated human state. Attraction to another encompasses a rich combination of physical, mental, emotional, and intellectual desires. At the beginning of a relationship, we tend to put our best foot forward. We compartmentalize our stress, checking it at the door before walking into a date. There is no former emotional hurt or disagreements, and everything is new and exciting. These positive activities pump serotonin through our brains and increase our libido and sexual desire for the new love interest. Unavoidably and unfortunately, this level of intense attraction eventually fades and couples report that they rarely feel this heightened level of desire again.
As life demands increase, and the feelings of lust fade, a couple will naturally fall into a daily taskmaster mode. The adrenaline-pumping moments come to an end. As a Sexologist, I want to state that moving out of the honeymoon phase and into daily life routines is not a negative thing. This is the foundation of a realistic relationship! Healthy relationships cultivate emotional and sexual attraction while balancing autonomy and all of life’s tasks. What is important is how the couple maintains the balance between life and their relationship.
In my private practice in Miami, many of my clients begin therapy because they are in a “sexual rut” or find that they are not having sex at all. People typically call my office due to the discovery of a........