Your most intimate relationship is with your own self. This is the filter through which you experience your life and how others experience you.

Reflect on what messages you send yourself through your thoughts and feelings. Do you validate yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you invest in yourself?

Here’s an example of what I mean.

I was working with a client, a hospital-based physician who is sometimes on call. She’s approaching middle age, has children, and is married.

In terms of sleep hygiene, being on call even once a week is ruinous. Sleep deprivation has grave consequences for physical and mental health.

I asked if she had to be on call.

She hesitated a bit and said, “Well, probably not.”

“Then why are you on call? Would there be negative repercussions if you were not?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “No.”

“Then why are you causing harm to your health, your well-being, and your family by suffering terrible sleep deprivation at least once a week?”

We talked about this for months before she finally felt comfortable addressing the issue with her supervisor.

She had the meeting, and she is no longer on call.

What followed was shocking to me, even after conducting over 30,000 hours of therapy.

I thought the change in her schedule was cause for celebration. I asked her how she felt about herself and whether she gave herself a pat on the back.

She looked at me like I was speaking another........

© Psychology Today