Dads Battle Flexibility Stigma and Outdated Media Portrayals |
One in 5 fathers worry about taking paternity leave.
Male leaders role modeling strong allyship is the single most effective allyship strategy in the workplace.
People broadly support care infrastructure across genders, political affiliations, and countries.
This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.
Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice is publishing two new studies, "Building Men’s Solidarity for Workplace Equality: A Guide for Workplace Leaders," and the "State of the World's Fathers 2026" report, based on data from 8,000 parents across 16 countries. I interviewed Taveeshi Gupta, Senior Director of Research, Evaluation, and Learning, and Christopher Hook, Deputy Director of Strategic Partnerships of Equimundo, to understand some of the highlights.
In the first post of this two-part series, we discussed how parents are losing sleep worrying about money and the future and giving up simple pleasures. Modern fathers are feeling pressured to be breadwinners as much as caregivers.
So, where does this leave us, and where can we go from here? Gupta and Hook shared insights from the research and their personal experiences.
Fathers Face Flexibility Stigma
The "fatherhood flexibility stigma" operates in parallel to the well-documented "motherhood penalty." We know the motherhood penalty is real—when women take leave after childbirth, their careers can suffer. But the fatherhood flexibility stigma is equally striking: There is a significant taboo attached to men seeking flexibility at work, often more than when women do, Gupta explained.
Equimundo’s previous research with Dove Men+Care found that most fathers reported having little support for taking paternity leave; one in five feared that simply taking the full amount of paternity leave offered to them could mean risking losing their job. Fathers were also worried about how others would perceive them if they prioritized their families.
Gupta has witnessed this firsthand. She was on a Zoom call when her Australian colleague apologized that her 2-year-old was sick and might wander onto the camera. Gupta assured her that it was completely fine. The colleague then admitted that, that morning, her husband had asked her: "How are you going to manage the 2-year-old and do the call?" And she said she'd just bring the child on camera if she had to. His immediate reaction was: "I couldn't do that. I wouldn't be allowed to."
This complex and nuanced phenomenon can be hard to convey, Gupta continued, because women shouldn't have to bring sick toddlers onto work calls either. But the fact that men feel like they can't even attempt it—even when they want to—says a lot about the fatherhood flexibility stigma.
Women face the motherhood penalty because they’re seen as not fitting with “ideal worker norms,” which expect that workers should unquestioningly prioritize work over family. As fathers increasingly want to be more present for their families, they are facing similar tensions.
Men Care and Want to Care
Nine out of 10 fathers (same as mothers) describe caregiving as deeply enjoyable, see time with their babies as a source of health and happiness, and value what they do in the home as much as paid work. Three-quarters of fathers (same as mothers) would sacrifice career advancement for caregiving.
As one father in Colombia said in the "State of the World's Fathers 2026" study, “I have realized that almost all the responsibilities of raising children and being a parent are generally and culturally passed on to women... For me, [being more involved in the care and upbringing of my children] has been very rewarding because you can bond with the kids and they start to trust you."
Recent media narratives are at odds with the data. Hook recalled a recent podcast where author Scott Galloway said that he didn't support paternity leave because fathers of infants “are a waste of time or space.” And men shouldn't be in the delivery room because that's "so disgusting and unnatural.” Yet, Equimundo's study shows that most fathers want to care for their infants.
Brain studies also suggest that men are wired to care. When men become fathers, their brain structures and hormones change to prepare them for fatherhood. Hook’s concern is that if erroneous beliefs about men’s propensity for care are spread without us questioning them, these might become self-fulfilling.
Hook shared that for him, “being in the delivery room and seeing my son arrive, holding him not ten minutes after he emerged is the closest thing to magic I've ever experienced.” Which is why he’s concerned that, “when someone like Scott Galloway makes those statements, it feels almost as if he's speaking from a place of never having been allowed to feel like you can lean into care, and joy, and nurturing. That's exactly what our work tries to change: encouraging men to lean into care rather than away from it.”
Most Effective Workplace Solution: Male Leaders as Allyship Role Models
The "Building Men’s Solidarity for Workplace Equality" study found that the single most effective strategy is for male leaders to role model strong allyship from the top. And leaders' role modeling is the number one driver of individual staff behavior.
But in Equimundo’s male allyship training programs, they find that it's primarily women who show up, not men. This is because men aren't incentivized to attend, and women want to help change a system that’s not working for them. Hook observed, “Men are not paid to attend. They're not told it's part of their job. They don't see other male leaders doing it. And sometimes when they do go, they face implicit pushback because gender equality is still perceived as a women's issue.”
If workplaces want gender equality, male leaders need to make it a visible priority and make clear that it's not only women who stand to gain. Men become more authentic versions of themselves, too, when those norms shift.
Broad Support for Care Infrastructure
At a larger level, Gupta states that we need to make care a basic good—like food, shelter, and water. We need national budgets that center care infrastructure.
But creating a policy is not enough. Focus groups with fathers in the United States found that most fathers didn't know child tax credits existed, Gupta said. One father said the system was so complicated that he didn't bother using it. In Canada, which has a national childcare policy, a father said there was no childcare facility close to home, and he couldn't drive 45 minutes each way to drop off his child.
Gupta believes that when care is considered a human right, the lens shifts. It becomes embedded in education systems, in national discourse, in media representation. The Geena Davis Institute has reported that portrayals of fathers doing equitable caregiving are sorely lacking in mainstream media. And that invisibility matters.
The "State of the World’s Fathers 2026" study found that across genders, there is a strong willingness to support political parties that invest in care, family benefits, and flexible work. Parents say they would vote for care policies, regardless of whether they are conservative, liberal, or independent, and regardless of which country they live in.
That's a powerful message for the world’s politicians: Put care on your agenda, Gupta concludes. We must budget for care infrastructure, because care is not a women's issue or a partisan issue. It is the most fundamental expression of what it means to be human.
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