Honesty is the bedrock of every relationship, laying the foundation for trust and understanding. It’s the key to minimising conflict and misunderstandings.

But does this mean revealing that you are attracted to your partner’s friends, who or what you fantasise about, or whether you sometimes have doubts about your relationship?

Is radical honesty always the best policy?

Proponents of radical honesty advocate for complete transparency. That means disclosing your innermost thoughts without holding back, via regular check-ins, where each partner talks while the other listens, non-judgmentally and without interruption.

This approach emphasises the importance of openly and honestly expressing your true thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires without fear of judgement and without minimising or downplaying any emotions.

If that appeals to you, go for it. But it requires a lot from both partners, in terms of patience, understanding and time. It also rests on an untested and questionable assumption that everything can be improved by discussion and that privacy, individuality and autonomy don't matter much.

At its worst, it can sound a bit like co-dependence. At the very least, it’s naive and prioritises the self over the collective. And in practice, it often causes as many problems as it solves. Let’s look at an example.

You can talk healthily about your sexual preferences, in order to find a........

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