As we saw in the last two posts, Matt Murdock is often unsure of the value he makes as Daredevil, with his responsibility to use his abilities and the good he does in saving lives in constant conflict with his desire for a personal life and the fear of putting his loved ones in danger.1
Add to this the fact that, unlike most superheroes, Matt really loves being Daredevil! In a very early issue, he compared himself to Peter Pan, asking himself, “Do I really do this to help mankind… or am I just a showoff who never grew up?!!” (Daredevil #9, August 1965). Later, when he wondered why he preferred being Daredevil to Matt Murdock, even if it meant he couldn’t be with his love Karen Page, he realized that “I wanted the excitement—the glamour—the adventure of a superhero’s life!” (Daredevil #49, February 1969).
This all contributes to his chronic indecisiveness about why he continues as Daredevil. After one successful case in which he returned a sick child to his mother, he both asks and answers the question:
"Every so often I wonder if I’m doing the right thing playing super hero… if I’m really helping people, or just myself. But after a night like this, I don’t have to question myself. The happiness I sensed in that mother’s voice is enough for any man." (Daredevil #139, November 1976)
Another time he faced the conflict between being Daredevil and being with Karen, he first sided with the former, telling himself, “There’s something about being a free-wheeling superhero… something that gets in your blood!” (Daredevil #61, February 1971). But two issues later, he changed his mind, thinking, “Karen’s more important to me than life itself—let alone my double-life as a swashbuckling showoff!” (Daredevil #63, April 1970).
This relentless doubt often results in Matt seriously questioning whether to carry on as Daredevil at all. The very first time he acted on this, Matt invented a new identity, his brother “Mike," to protect his secret identity; after a while, he claimed that Mike was actually Daredevil and then faked the deaths of both of them.1 Now free to enjoy the simple life with Karen, Matt thought to himself, “I’m beginning to think I should have killed off my Daredevil identity long ago!” But you can guess what happened next: After a threat compelled him to don his costume again, he........