Giving Away Our Mental Health |
The chaos and intensity of modern life actively undermine our mental health.
Resilience and happiness stem from simple, old-fashioned habits more than quick fixes or trendy solutions.
Strong face-to-face relationships are crucial for emotional health; screen time can erode these connections.
Intentionally defending what builds our health helps us stay strong.
Just about everything that improves mental health is free and available to all of us, apart from the right to therapy and medical treatment when required. It’s an utterly frustrating, unexciting, unsellable, and unlikely-to-go-viral message. It also isn't judgmental, since none of us control our emotional state or the state of the world. Our likelihood of feeling good heavily relies on each of us staying intentional in a world that pushes us toward unproductive habits instead.
Simple but not easy summarizes the research on resilience and happiness. Beyond the bedrock rights everyone has to basic sustenance and safety, there are no quick fixes and nothing extra to buy. It takes effort and planning but isn't found in cutting-edge medical research. This is the modern science of getting back to the basics.
The unrelenting stress and anxiety of the modern world keep us off balance and reactive. We're up against powerful forces intentionally influencing how we live. Social media companies are being sued for their methods. Nutrition influences our mental health, and yet our food is designed and marketed to keep us eating badly. Individually, we don't control everything that happens, but we do retain the ability to choose a lifestyle that makes resilience more likely.
As individuals and as parents, we can practice pausing, settling, and aiming to make intentional choices. And then stay kind and patient with ourselves when we notice we're off track again, because change is hard. Separate from responsibilities and problems to solve and all the rest of life, we can steer our families toward strength, resilience, and joy.
The Effort of Staying Intentional
So what does living that way actually look like? It starts with the people around us. Having others in our lives who are emotionally consistent and present is one of the strongest predictors of resilience. Smartphones and social media erode that experience in ways we're only beginning to understand. Prioritizing face-to-face time with those who make us feel stronger, while emphasizing being genuinely present for our children when we're with them, isn't sentimental. It's protective.
Sleep matters more than most of us want to admit. Our bodies and minds require rest, and technology makes the already common challenge of sleep worse. A consistent sleep routine, for ourselves and our kids, is less glamorous than almost any other intervention and more effective than most.
Exercise works the same way. Humans evolved to move. The research linking physical activity to better mood and lower anxiety is about as settled as it gets. It doesn't require a gym plan or competition. It requires prioritizing and pushing through the inertia. Studies show that even minutes a day of intense, heart rate-raising activity matters, which isn’t all that much to steal away from our typical average screentime.
What we eat shapes how we feel, in ways that are easy to dismiss and hard to ignore. Traditional diets built around whole foods, shared meals, and minimal processed foods support a more stable mood. The typical Western diet does the opposite. Changing how a family eats is emotionally loaded yet worth doing anyway, one realistic step at a time.
Perhaps the most exhausting aspect of modern family life is carving out time for what screens have quietly replaced. Reading. Free play. Being outside. Unplugged hobbies. These aren't nostalgic indulgences; they settle the mind and build the kind of focused attention that doomscrolling, gaming and similar activities actively dismantle. Technology today is engineered to be hard to put down. Treating unplugged time as something to actively defend, rather than something that will happen naturally, is fundamental for modern mental health.
An Effortful Return to the Basics
All of this runs into the same wall: Habits are hard to build and easy to lose. The antidote isn't self-criticism or willpower but the same patient advice you'd offer a child: Take small realistic steps. Emphasize scheduled routines. Set alarms. And when you lose the thread, which you will, return to your intentions without self-judgment rather than abandoning them entirely. Adjust the plan, and start again. That new habit hasn’t stuck around – yet.
We are giving away our mental health when we forget these basics. Awful and upsetting things keep happening. Staying strong means returning to what has worked for generations: rest, movement, real food, real people, and time that isn't optimized for anyone else's profit.
None of this is exciting. All of it is hard to maintain. And on any given day, if you've managed to move toward even one of these, whether getting outside, eating a meal together, or putting phones away for an hour, you've done something that matters, even if it doesn't look like much from the outside.
Start right now. Consider your typical family schedule. Consider what you’d like to prioritize. Schedule a specific time for that intention, set up a reminder, and take a first step toward healthier, more resilient living.