Why Relationships Matter

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The hallmark of successful relationships is how good you are at what’s called serve and return.

From the time we are born, we learn about the world based on the to and fro dynamic of responsiveness.

For many, serve and return interactions are challenging because of issues with attention or energy.

When I was a kid, I remember my father talking a lot about wanting a ping-pong table. It felt like a milestone moment when he could finally afford to buy one. The giant table took up one whole side of the basement. And boy, did we have fun using it.

I don’t remember my mother ever playing—with my father or with us. Back then, I never gave her lack of participation a thought. It was a thing we did with our dad. His enthusiasm was all over it.

Now, as I think of her listening to the click-clack of that hollow ball hitting paddles, then table, I get it. She must have been relieved to be alone upstairs. Knowing someone else was in charge of their four kids. All of us together in one place, there was no need for her to serve and return the ball. No need for her to go........

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