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Four Little Words

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“Have a nice day.” Four little words. Usually well intended. Sometimes perfunctory. Mostly an offhanded exchange. Words that prompt you to move on with your life so the person saying them can advance to the next person, the next task, or the next issue. Some might say, “they’re only words.” But right now, these four little words are daggers in my heart. They are a reminder of what I’ve lost. They bring me to my knees. Every. Single. Time.

I’ve experienced loss in my life, but nothing prepared me for the depth of the pain, the emptiness, the hole I experienced when I lost my mom. It was sudden and it occurred 20 years sooner than we would have expected. It literally took my breath away and shook my world in a way I didn’t know possible. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t breathe. It’s still a struggle. I’m trying to heal – to create a new normal. I’m trying to focus on the wonderful times we shared – all the memories. But my grief is raw.

There was nothing remarkable about that day. It was like any other. I........

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