In Awakenings, neurologist and acclaimed writer Oliver Sacks wrote, “All of us entertain the idea of another sort of medicine… which will restore to us our lost health and wholeness. We spend our lives searching for what we lost; and one day, perhaps, we will suddenly find it.” Sacks was referring to specific points in the past, which we may cite as examples of nostalgia. But his comment reveals something deeper, which applies to obsessiveness, broadly, and perfectionism, specifically. Both often entail a preoccupation with a lost past, but one that substantially differs from anything resembling reality. While nostalgia romanticizes the past, it, at least, captures some part of it. With perfectionism, the longing is often for the possibilities of one’s past, rather than for the past itself — for stolen hope.

Perfectionists, who struggle with accepting their limitations and the general unfairness of their lives, attempt to transform their lives in a manner that aims to protect them from emotional onslaughts in the future. They hope to become smart enough, beautiful enough, and/or strong enough to feel completely secure, never again having to worry about others’ opinions of them.

But the hoped-for utopian future is frequently strongly associated with the past, as the perfectionist desperately strives to recreate all of the opportunities they thought they had but squandered. Patients with

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