What Is Perfectionism?

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Perfectionists struggle to find joy in immediate experiences, which often fail to live up to expectations.

Rather than relying on experiences to make you happy, you can learn to rely on your tendency to overthink.

Overthinking can provide a bird's-eye view of your life, which can help you see how your experiences mattered.

Unlike with cognitive behavior therapy, where new thoughts help you overcome old feelings, many who are struggling with depression hope for positive, new experiences, and the positive, new feelings they elicit, to help them overcome old thoughts. When people say they want something external to help them feel better, they tend to mean they hope for something to make them happy by silencing their overactive mind. While this is possible in some cases, it’s much harder with perfectionism, where few external things or experiences elicit joy because few of them live up to your standards.

So, hoping for immediate gratification is akin to a dice roll. It isn’t that it never happens; it’s that it can’t be relied on. However, since perfectionists are overthinkers (i.e., people who think deeply about topics, even when unnecessary), it’s possible to use the ability to project yourself into the future and your ability to take a bird’s-eye view to your advantage. On its own,........

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