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"I can't" can turn a choice into an impossibility, while "I won't" names the real decision you are making.

"I'll try" can preserve an exit before you even begin; "I will" asks you to commit, even when you are unsure.

Not every "can't" is a disguised "won't." Real constraints deserve to be named honestly.

"'I can't' means 'I won't.'"

That was my father's answer, every time, when I told him I couldn't do something as a child. I didn't understand it then. I only knew it frustrated me, because I wasn't trying to make a philosophical point. I was trying to explain that something felt too hard, too uncomfortable, or simply beyond me.

He wouldn't let me confuse reluctance with impossibility.

I live by that sentence now. It surfaced again recently on Iceland's south coast, in a cave called Gígjagjá, better known as the Yoda Cave for the shape its opening cuts into the sky. Standing there, I thought of Yoda's own version: "Do. Or do not. There is no try." Long before I knew who Yoda was, I had my own at home.

"I can't" closes a door before you've looked........

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