Back in 1970, Masters and Johnson surmised that sexual problems (lack of arousal, difficulty climaxing, etc.) stemmed from something called ‘‘spectatoring,’’ wherein individuals engage in observation of themselves during their sexual activity with another person.
Of course, if people think, “Gosh, I’ll bet I look great right now,” or “Bazinga! I really know what I’m doing here, " there’s less of a chance that this sort of observing poses a problem. The trouble is, self-monitoring during sexual behavior is often linked to anxiety and thoughts that distract from the erotic experience, which can lead to decreased enjoyment and make the "Big O" ever elusive. Anxiety and distraction beget inhibited arousal, which begets more anxiety about potential sexual failure. What specific forms does cognitive distraction take?
Purdon and Holdaway (2006) identified nine categories of distracting thoughts. Here are four with a few sample thoughts you might have that may be quite relatable (from Lacefield & Negy, 2012):
While women report more distracting thoughts and higher levels of associated anxiety than men, both men, and women are affected by cognitive distraction. Women tend to report more distractions in the body image category, and men report more performance-related distraction. If during intimacy, one is worried about being seen or discovered, doubts what they’re doing is turning on their partner, worries whether they or their partner will climax, and/or thinks about school or work, it becomes a rush hour of thoughts. All that thought traffic would distract just about anyone and ensures one isn’t really there for the intimacy. I have a few recommendations.
References
Masters, W. H., & Johnson, V. E. (1970). Human sexual inadequacy. Boston: Little, Brown and Company.
Purdon, C., & Holdaway, L. (2006). Non-erotic thoughts: Content and relation to sexual functioning and sexual satisfaction. Journal of Sex Research, 43, 154–162.
Being All There: Cognitive Distraction and Sexual Intimacy
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23.03.2023
Back in 1970, Masters and Johnson surmised that sexual problems (lack of arousal, difficulty climaxing, etc.) stemmed from something called ‘‘spectatoring,’’ wherein individuals engage in observation of themselves during their sexual activity with another person.
Of course, if people think, “Gosh, I’ll bet I look great right now,” or “Bazinga! I really know what I’m doing here, " there’s less of a chance that this sort of observing poses a problem. The trouble is, self-monitoring during........
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