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The Importance of What You Don't Do

10 0
27.01.2025

It is clear that many behaviors have important implications for our well-being and the well-being of others. Less obvious is the significance of the actions we don’t take, the things we don’t do. There are times, however, when we feel grateful or remorseful as we reflect upon our inaction. Regret has been associated with lower life satisfaction overall in members of the Baby Boomer generation (Ferguson, 2023; Oishi, 2021). Regret for what we didn’t do can evoke sadness or depression, ranging in intensity as a function of the difference our action could have made and the extent to which we had been able to act.

We may regret the opportunities we let pass by—the relationship that might have become our storybook romance, training or education that might have led to a more fulfilling career, or seeking health care before a problem became more serious. We might have not understood their value at the time they presented themselves or we might have been afraid to pursue them.

Lack of confidence in our ability to succeed, our fear of failure, can serve as an obstacle to our personal growth and career advancement. Inertia can be a powerful force in holding us back, as the familiar feels safe and reliable. We know the demands of our current situation, but future options pose unknown challenges and potential for stress, unhappiness, or failure.

Fear of tackling new tasks often has its roots in a person’s past. For example, parents hoping to protect their children from the emotional costs of losing competitions may express high expectations for achievement, reward good performance, and convey disappointment or withhold affection or privileges when they perceive their child’s behavior or accomplishment as inadequate. Such parent-child interactions are likely to be counterproductive in the long run and contribute to fear of failure in adolescence and adulthood (Sagar & Lavallee, 2010). At any age, shame can lead to feelings of low self-esteem,........

© Psychology Today


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