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Survivors of families with domestic violence find that having their own children can re-activate trauma.

Many survivors overcompensate to try to prevent their children from experiencing what they endured.

Milestones, like a child leaving for college or being independent, can activate unresolved trauma in parents.

Destiny came to therapy struggling with debilitating anxiety, frequent migraines, and relentless insomnia. But what finally prompted her to seek help wasn’t just her physical symptoms—it was the rising tension between her and her husband as they prepared to send their oldest daughter off to college.

“I never had the chance to go to college,” she told me the first day. “My dad was gone. My mother could barely take care of herself. Someone had to stay behind and take care of my younger siblings.”

As she spoke, it became clear that Destiny had spent much of her childhood in a caregiving role. While other kids were focused on school, friendships, and planning for their futures, she was focused on survival and responsibility.

Now, years later, she found herself........

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