Paul sat in front of me, his hands crossed. "I don't know why this bothers me so much," he said again. "I should be happy for my friend, right?"

We had been talking about his friend’s recent health issues—how an unexpected diagnosis had led to months of financial strain. And how, without hesitation, his friend’s family had rallied around him. They bought him a car. Paid his bills. Things that a family should do (when able to of course) to make sure he didn’t have to worry about survival while he focused on healing.

“I think you are happy for him,” I began. “And at the same time, I think this is bringing up something more for you that we can explore.”

After a long pause, Paul said quietly, “I guess… no one ever did that for me.”

And there it was.

Jealousy often emerges from things that seem small or even petty on the surface. For Paul, his jealousy was due to the fact that his friend's family came together to help him in a rough patch. Paul's wife had worried that Paul was being selfish or unreasonable, which led him down a path of guilt and self-blame that just ended up reinforcing his negative feelings.

For someone who was not neglected or abandoned by their caregivers, this act of help for a friend might just seem like an ordinary acts of support or generosity, so it makes sense that his wife did not understand. Yet for someone who grew up without consistent........

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