The note came on the eve of my wedding and was a striking contrast to the other congratulatory messages coming from friends and family.

It was from Barbara, whose husband Tim is my best friend from college. “Tim and I have found marriage to be a healthy and happy place with a lot of room for growth,” she wrote. “And we wish the same for you. But it’s important to remember that being married does not preclude times of loneliness or depression or other downs endemic to the human condition.”

Looking back from the vantage point of 46 years of marriage, Barbara’s note was, perhaps, one of our best, most lasting wedding gifts. I took it to heart, keeping my expectations of my husband Bob realistic, not feeling panic or blaming him when those inevitable downtimes came.

There have been more valuable lessons over the years: some from my work as a marriage and family therapist and some from life itself. What are the secrets to keeping love alive over the years?

QOSHE - 8 Secrets for Lasting Love - Kathy Mccoy Ph.d
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8 Secrets for Lasting Love

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09.06.2023

The note came on the eve of my wedding and was a striking contrast to the other congratulatory messages coming from friends and family.

It was from Barbara, whose husband Tim is my best friend from college. “Tim and I have found marriage........

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