Why Relationships Matter

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Dislike for our partner can stem from unmet needs, accumulated wrongs, and unspoken frustrations.

Our childhood wounds and attachment patterns can also influence how and why we dislike a partner.

Communicating in a loving manner about why we feel dislike can actually heal our relationship.

But that communication requires a willingness on behalf of both parties and a desire to genuinely understand.

Occasionally, disliking our partner is an unfortunate side effect of any long-term relationship. As many joys as co-existing with another human can bring, so too can it invite many frustrations. For some of us, dislike towards our partners may last much longer than we'd (or they'd) like—months or years rather than days or weeks. This can make us wonder if we're in the wrong relationship.

Before jumping ship, it's important to consider several reasons why disliking our partner doesn't necessarily mean our relationship is irredeemable. Below is a look at five common reasons people often dislike their partners, and what we can do about it.

1. Accumulated Wrongs

Over the course of any relationship, it’s inevitable to feel wronged by a partner. Ideally, this isn’t in a major way, like discovering our partner had a torrid affair with our best friend or has been leading a double life that poses a threat to our safety. Smaller wrongs add up as well: Too many moments of being “phubbed” (when our partner ignores us in favor of their digital device). Too many failed bids for connection (trying to engage a partner around things we find interesting only to be met with disinterest, distraction, or annoyance). Hurtful words said during arguments that we can't forget. All of these........

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