Financial Infidelity: The Cost of Keeping Secrets

Molly discovered that her husband, Mike, had collected several credit cards in secret. With these cards he’d made several impulse purchases without telling her, including a guitar and expensive electronic gadgets. Mike had also been hiding his financial statements and was now deeply in debt. When she confronted him he eventually confessed his behavior and they had a huge argument. In the end, they decided to cut up his credit cards, agreeing to figure out their finances and work on his underlying mental health issues.

Financial infidelity is also known as “marital financial deception” (MFD). It refers to the act of keeping secrets about money from not only a spouse but any significant other. Relationships are built on trust, and lying about money is a significant breach of trust, so for many, this type of dishonesty draws parallels to sexual or emotional cheating.

Financial infidelity is about more than just stashing a little cash in a cookie jar, it involves hiding one’s spending, savings, and debt. Garbinsky et al., define it as, “engaging in any financial behavior expected to be disapproved of by one’s romantic partner and intentionally failing to disclose this behavior to them.” Financial deceit can include hiding bills, keeping an undercover bank account or credit card, covert purchases or........

© Psychology Today