We Need to Talk About Filial Domestic Violence |
When people hear the words domestic violence they usually think of intimate partner violence, but there is another form of domestic violence that’s just as real and often just as dangerous, although few want to talk about it: Parents who are abused and sometimes killed by their own children.
This is called filial domestic violence. In my work, it’s not rare and it’s not mild. It’s common, extreme, and almost never named for what it really is.
I specialize in bipolar and psychotic disorder management. For over 20 years, I’ve coached parents and partners of people with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and schizophrenia. I live with bipolar disorder and a psychotic disorder myself and I wrote the first bipolar management book and the first book for a partner of someone with a serious mental illness.
In that world, filial domestic violence is not an outlier. It’s a daily reality.
These days, I work almost exclusively with parents. The majority of parents who contact me have already experienced coercive control, serious threats, or physical abuse from a deeply loved child who also lives with a serious mental illness. Very often there is heavy cannabis use.
I’ve been doing this work online since 2002. Over those years, I’ve heard the same themes from thousands of parents,........