Testosterone: The Great Male Optimization Myth

If you’re a middle-aged man with his eyes open, you’ve likely seen ads featuring a chiseled 52-year-old dodging his own mortality. The captions usually ask something relatable, like "Feeling tired? Doughy? Do you have the sex drive of a pillow?

The solution? Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). What used to be a niche medical treatment for men with the legitimate medical condition of hypogonadism has morphed into a lifestyle accessory like compression socks.

Before you wander into the nearest men’s clinic in a strip mall between the vape shop and a Subway, let’s consider what you’re in for. Ultimately, TRT isn’t a syringe of youth. It just makes you slightly more yourself, louder, sleepier, and convinced this was a responsible, scientific decision. But maybe also with dried chickpeas for testicles. It’s a high-stakes biological trade-off of swapping your natural T-factory for a potential lifetime monthly subscription.

Guys love shortcuts, often at our peril. Look no further than “scrotal sunning” (aka, “testicle tanning”) to boost testosterone levels. Regrettably, there’s no reliable scientific evidence to support widely circulated social-media claims that directly exposing your junk to sunlight safely or effectively boosts T levels.

The marketing for TRT is seductive. It promises to turn back the clock to 19-year-old you—the one who could down a whole pizza, sleep for four hours, and still have the energy to pursue a 2.5 college GPA and questionable romantic interests.

Clinically, there’s some truth to the hype. For men with actual low testosterone, the benefits can be life-changing. One such study noted significant improvements in

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