To what do you aspire? Who do you want to be, and what kind of life do you want to lead? To be happy, successful, impactful, rich, famous, loved? We all want to find and experience that elusive “Holy Grail” that we believe will fulfill our aspirations. However, as is commonly expressed in both ancient philosophical thought and modern-day self-help dogma, “once you get there, there is no there.” Instead, it is the journey that provides us with our so-sought-after sense of what I call “I’m good.” Though this brief phrase sounds simple, it carries with it profound meaning that includes feeling good about yourself, being in a good place in your life, feeling safe and secure, experiencing contentment, and having deep and nurturing relationships, just to name a few.
You now may be asking, “If having aspirations like those described above are not the way to go, what steps should I take to find meaning, satisfaction, and joy in my life?” I have identified five that, if you strive for and achieve, you will, as the saying goes, “live a life worth leading.”
An unfortunate, though inevitable, aspect of the human condition is that we all carry baggage with us from childhood into adulthood. What I mean by baggage are ways of thinking, experiencing emotions, behaving, interacting with others, and generally acting and reacting to our world in a way that was once functional (i.e., it protected us from some perceived threat) but is now nonfunctional (it no longer serves our best interests and interferes with our pursuing our most closely held aspirations).
Without letting go of this baggage from our past, finding meaning, satisfaction, joy, and connection in our present lives is nearly impossible. Of course, freeing yourself from your baggage is no small feat because these burdens that we may have been carrying around with us for years not only produce deeply ingrained habits but also are wired into our brains. The result is that our baggage is highly resistant to change.
Yet, there is considerable empirical evidence and first-hand experience that we all see that unpacking our baggage is possible. As the saying goes, though, there........