Why Relationships Matter

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In close relationships, intimacy can become defined by a set of recurring assumptions about your partner.

You and your partner may live out these assumptions, and they may cause issues, yet you never discuss them.

Assuming your partner gets you more than they actually do is the "Illusion of Transparency."

Giving up the illusion sets couples free.

We tend to think our inner world is very obvious to those around us and, in particular, to the people with whom we are the closest.

Take Monica and Connor

Connor tells Monica that he has an unexpected work trip that will conflict with her family coming to town. As Monica processes this news, her stomach tightens, and her shoulders tense. He knows what this weekend means to her and how excited she is to spend time with her family and with Connor. She gives him The Look. Monica is certain that Connor gets it and will get out of the work trip.

Days later, she is angry and hurt that he took the trip despite her obvious upset and........

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