How High Competence Undermines Intimacy |
Why Relationships Matter
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Competence is a desirable trait in a partner. Unchecked competence, however, depletes intimacy.
Problem solving and strategizing is not emotional intimacy.
Over time, partners begin to feel more like co-managers than co-intimates.
Jayla and Mark are a high-functioning couple. They developed a strong connection in law school, partly over priding themselves on being so-called type-A personalities, as they are both highly driven, productive, and achievement-oriented. Once they joined forces, there was nothing they couldn’t do. They are both professionally successful, with three happy, stable kids, and very full, busy lives. Although they have many strengths, Jayla and Mark are both privately feeling bored in their relationship. When they do come together, it is mostly to talk about logistics........